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Full Version: New Conservative Party - an introduction
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The New Conservative Party: Seeking Excellence in the Public Trough
Donate to learn more about our Parliamentary bottom spanking parties HERE

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Our MENU of political services (required and sought) from our resident Chef du Cabinet ( Georges Bullindon)

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A: Business services

1) changing business law: starting at £50,000

2) influence peddling: MP's £2,500 per half day
Honourables £2,750 per half day
Rt. Honourables £3,000 per half day
Less Honourables £3,500 per half day
Sec's of State £4,000 per half day
Cabinet Ministers £10,000 per half day
Prime Pimpster £20,000 per half day

3) House questions £1000 per question

4) Contrived Hansard entries £1000 per entry

5) Wars & confrontations negotiable from £500 million

B: Honours

1) OBE: £250,000
2) MBE £750,000
3) Junior Knighthood ("Sir") £ 5 million
4) Senior Knighthood ("Lord") £10 million
5) Military gongs NCOs & below from Whole leg
6) ditto Junior officers from Half leg
7) ditto Staff officers minimum Bruises / grazes
8) ditto General staff Nose colds
9) ditto Chiefs Crafty smile

C: Miscellaneous requirments

1) Penis smoothing £150.00
2) "Bottoms Up" £200.00
3) Wrenching, squeezing and choking £300.00
4) Masonic hand gestures £300.00
5) Privy Parts Counselling £350.00
6) Any of the above with fetish hoods, add £50.00
(please note we would like to pay more but can't afford to)

D: Justice

1) Under Construction

E: Oversight

1) Overlooked

F: Integrity Issues

1) Er,
Love it!

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