When it comes to charity, most people stop at nothing.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert.'
I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
You know what I hate? Indian givers...no, I take that back.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
I'm still belly-laughing at the Dog with Human Hands.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Quote:A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
...Or the dyslexic agnostic who just wasn't sure there was a dog...
Magda Hassan Wrote:For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
They're not one liners, they're aphorisms...
By which mean they're true. Duct tape rocks.
Magda Hassan Wrote:...
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
These are great. Especially this one. Classic.
David Guyatt Wrote:...
They're not one liners, they're aphorisms.
...
Can't they be both David?
I'm warning you; I have an Oxford dictionary. Don't make me use it.
Myra Bronstein Wrote:David Guyatt Wrote:...
They're not one liners, they're aphorisms.
...
Can't they be both David?
I'm warning you; I have an Oxford dictionary. Don't make me use it.
They are one liner aphorisms :girl:
