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+--- Thread: Open Letter to Sir Herbert Tooth (/thread-13567.html)
Open Letter to Sir Herbert Tooth - David Guyatt - 15-01-2015
An open letter to Sir Herbert Tooth,
I note from this years issue of Debretts that you have added a number of titles to those numerous ones you already hold. These are:
Surveyor of the Queen's Elixirs and Tinctures
Knight Companion of the Royal Negligees
Equerry to the Royal Gin Cabinet
Member of the Most Ancient and Noble Order of Nipple Squeezers
Knight of the Almost Ancient Order of Nose Powdery
The Equestrian Order of Loin Thrusters
And, not least:
Duke of the Distinguished Order of Gathering Capable Hands (or "dirty bastard" as it is affectionately known at Court :-) ).
This has led me to wonder what is the exact nature of the services you provide to Her Majesty - and the nation - to be so richly rewarded?
Would I be correct in assuming that those services are mostly composed of EDFS&CC? That is to say eating, drinking, fucking, snorting and consorting with crooks?
If so, then you must be aware that these activities have, historically, been exclusively and legally retained by fit and proper persons of royal blood (not all of them officially acknowledged of course) and that the non acknowledged royal blood persons require a royal charter to practice said practices. As I'm sure you know, such a dispensation is known inside palace corridors by the rubric shorthand "ANDREW", in order to keep it short and snappy
Would you, therefore, care to share with us which category of the above you fall into and if you actually are in possession of said dispensation.
Open Letter to Sir Herbert Tooth - Lauren Johnson - 15-01-2015
David, I get up this morning and read your posts. I'm snorting coffee out my nose. Sure cleared out the sinuses so early in the day. Just what I needed. Still recovering, tho. ;;okay::
Open Letter to Sir Herbert Tooth - David Guyatt - 16-01-2015
A certain unnamed gentleman member of this forum - presently coyly absent - has caused the same thing to me in the past.
Taking coffee through the nose - which tastes and feels disgusting - could be added to the CIA's torture armoury to complement anal feeding...