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New Conservative Party - an introduction - David Guyatt - 26-02-2015
The New Conservative Party: Seeking Excellence in the Public Trough
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Our MENU of political services (required and sought) from our resident Chef du Cabinet ( Georges Bullindon)
A: Business services
1) changing business law: starting at £50,000
2) influence peddling: MP's £2,500 per half day
Honourables £2,750 per half day
Rt. Honourables £3,000 per half day
Less Honourables £3,500 per half day
Sec's of State £4,000 per half day
Cabinet Ministers £10,000 per half day
Prime Pimpster £20,000 per half day
3) House questions £1000 per question
4) Contrived Hansard entries £1000 per entry
5) Wars & confrontations negotiable from £500 million
B: Honours
1) OBE: £250,000
2) MBE £750,000
3) Junior Knighthood ("Sir") £ 5 million
4) Senior Knighthood ("Lord") £10 million
5) Military gongs NCOs & below from Whole leg
6) ditto Junior officers from Half leg
7) ditto Staff officers minimum Bruises / grazes
8) ditto General staff Nose colds
9) ditto Chiefs Crafty smile
C: Miscellaneous requirments
1) Penis smoothing £150.00
2) "Bottoms Up" £200.00
3) Wrenching, squeezing and choking £300.00
4) Masonic hand gestures £300.00
5) Privy Parts Counselling £350.00
6) Any of the above with fetish hoods, add £50.00
(please note we would like to pay more but can't afford to)
D: Justice
1) Under Construction
E: Oversight
1) Overlooked
F: Integrity Issues
1) Er,
New Conservative Party - an introduction - David Guyatt - 27-02-2015
Love it!
[video]https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10205538076306981&set=o.2358386395&typ e=3&theater[/video]