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One liners - Printable Version

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One liners - Myra Bronstein - 18-02-2010

When it comes to charity, most people stop at nothing.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert.'
I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.

You know what I hate? Indian givers...no, I take that back.

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.


One liners - Magda Hassan - 18-02-2010

LaughLaughLaugh
I'm going to have to think about this as I can never thing of all these witty one liners, especially when I need them. I look forward to the additions to this thread.


One liners - David Guyatt - 18-02-2010

I'm still belly-laughing at the Dog with Human Hands.


One liners - Magda Hassan - 18-02-2010

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.


One liners - Bruce Clemens - 18-02-2010

Quote:A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...

...Or the dyslexic agnostic who just wasn't sure there was a dog...


One liners - David Guyatt - 18-02-2010

Magda Hassan Wrote:For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

They're not one liners, they're aphorisms...

By which mean they're true. Duct tape rocks.


One liners - Myra Bronstein - 19-02-2010

Bruce Clemens Wrote:...Or the dyslexic agnostic who just wasn't sure there was a dog...

:hahaha::hahaha::hahaha:


One liners - Myra Bronstein - 19-02-2010

Magda Hassan Wrote:...
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

These are great. Especially this one. Classic.


One liners - Myra Bronstein - 19-02-2010

David Guyatt Wrote:...
They're not one liners, they're aphorisms.
...

Can't they be both David?

I'm warning you; I have an Oxford dictionary. Don't make me use it.


One liners - Magda Hassan - 19-02-2010

Myra Bronstein Wrote:
David Guyatt Wrote:...
They're not one liners, they're aphorisms.
...

Can't they be both David?

I'm warning you; I have an Oxford dictionary. Don't make me use it.
They are one liner aphorisms :girl: