U.S. pulls the plug on the world (to save the dollar)

[Paul Rigby]

Thanks Paul, the tablets (all of them in one go) went down well with several large glasses of iced Chablis. Otherwise known as a bottle.

There then followed some quite remarkable effects.

a) the gradual late onset of irrupting nose and ear hair is now rapidly regressing and reforming on my hitherto tanned pate, which is wonderful.

b) my tunnel vision has markedly improved and I am no longer able to hear my wife when she nags me, which is wonderful.

c) my putter has grown longer, which is wonderful (I can now putt from a fully reclined position - which is also wonderful especially after consuming several large glasses of iced chablis).

Send more tablets asap please.

Point b), second effect - utterly remarkable. No such benign side-effect hereabouts. I type in envy.

PS Did I tell you I'd confused my anti-inflammatories - they were the orange ones - with the dog's anti-worm tablets? I must try some immediately!

Fellow-sufferer