Louisiana deep oil drilling disaster

[Ed Jewett]

Has anyone sighted a North Korean sub yet? :captain:

My contacts within the National Scruity Agency tell me that the North Korean mini-sub has been tracked and sighted by the latest in AquaSat spy satellite technology and is lurking, waiting for the gusher to put out enough of a slick that they can make their escape unnoticed, by dashing (?) across the Caribbean underneath the Caymans.

The US Navy, using littoral vessels and specially trained ORCAs [Only Really Crazy Assignments] (the SEALs were busy), will shadow the vessels until they can be attacked inside or near Venezuelan waters. (Remember the Maine?!)

A special USNavy DevGru sleeper cell was discovered lounging on the beaches in Grenada and has been re-awakened and re-activated for Operation Erica Jong-Il ("Fear of Shrimping"). The mini-sub was discovered serendipitously by a scientific team working through the Marshall Space Flight Center. Recognizing the dramatic impact the spill and the attendant financial ramifications would have on the US economy, satellite searches were undertaken of the Guatemalan region once populated by the Mayan culture.

"By learning what the Maya did right and what they did wrong, maybe we can help local people find sustainable ways to farm the land while stopping short of the excesses that doomed the Maya," says Tom Sever at the MSFC. Sever, NASA's only archeologist, has been using satellites to examine Mayan ruins. Sever and co-worker Dan Irwin have been looking at satellite photos and, in them, Sever spotted signs of ancient drainage and irrigation canals in swamp-like areas near the Mayan ruins. Sever suspects that these ancient canals were part of a system devised by the Maya to manage water in the bajos so that they could farm the land.

The mini-sub was discovered in one of those canals after one of its submariners was spotted inquiring at an outdoor collective market if anyone had any sonar-absorbing replacement tiles for his Yugo.


According to a Guatemalan once recruited for Operation PB Fortune, the sub-mariners were supposed to be a suicide squad but decided, having once seen a movie about "охота в течение Красного октября" and having heard about Aruba, to ask for asylum in Oranjestad.