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Peter Presland
08-14-2009, 10:28 AM
Difficult to decide whether this BBC report more properly belongs in humour (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8201130.stm). It is outrageously funny - a near perfectly formed script for a Monty Python sketch in fact. :laugh:

The problem is that we are supposed to take it with grave, fearful, poker-faced seriousness :afraid: . Also, it's remarkable the way we Brits adopt those agonisingly awful Shrub compound-neologisms like 'Homeland Security' (aka Dr Tobias Feakin, director thereof at the Royal United Services Institute) and 'Those who wish to do us harm' - Lord West (How the hell the man keeps straight face is beyond me ).

Turn the clock back a couple of hundred years and replace 'Terrorists' with 'Witches' and 'Government with 'Church authorities' and you have a near word perfect tract on the threats posed by Satan to the Church Triumphant and what good God-fearing people must do about it.

It really woud be VERY funny if it weren't so damned sick.

An appeal for inventors to develop anti-terrorist gadgets has been launched by the government.

Real-life versions of scientist Q in the 007 films are being offered funding to develop technology to aid the fight against groups like al-Qaeda.

Ideas already realised have included a rocket-propelled net to stop speedboats and a barrier to block suicide trucks.

Security Minister Lord West said this was "one more tool in our fight against those who would wish to do us harm".

'Serious threat'

The appeal is part of the Home Office's three-year Science and Technology Counter-Terrorism Strategy, CONTEST.

This predicts that terrorists will use modern technology not just to plan and carry attacks, but also to spread propaganda and bring in new recruits.

In response, the government has produced a brochure for science and technology experts to put them in touch with key contacts in the counter-terrorism community.

Lord West said he believed the UK's status as a "leading innovator" in defence and security strategy should be harnessed to prevent terror attacks.

He added: "The UK currently faces a real and serious threat from terrorism and we need to utilise our position as a world leader in science and technology to counter this.

"We need to match products and ideas to problems, which is why we are actively inviting people to join us and share expertise."

Dr Tobias Feakin, director of homeland security at the Royal United Services Institute, said it was important to keep pace with terrorists who did not face the "barriers in place to harnessing new technologies that governments do".

He told the BBC News channel: "New technologies have been harnessed by terrorist groups very, very quickly because they're very adept at changing and adapting.

"Governments have to actually begin to change their processes so they can adapt to new technology types in a far more quick manner than perhaps they did in the past." 'The appeal is part of the Home Office's three-year Science and Technology Counter-Terrorism Strategy, CONTEST'. Geddit?? :puke:

Jan Klimkowski
08-14-2009, 05:49 PM
Comedy gold. :party:

What we need is a Blue Peter contest to persuade all the bright young things to spend their time designing gadgets and gizmoes to defend the free world from nasty muslims.

And if the kiddies are foolish enough to suggest the real terrorists are not muslims, then the competition result can always be rigged.

Again.