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  1. I am Sir Herbert Tooth and I have tonight been sacked by Sky TV

    In an outrage unparalled since the last one perpetrated by the Dirty Digger, I was this evening relieved of all further expert summariser duties on Sky Cotswold's Live Premiership Action after I was branded a sexist oaf by a deranged lesbian newscaster with a humour-deficiency and outsized thighs.

    These are the facts as I have established them to the complete satisfaction of Lady Tooth, though not necessarily to that of her brother, Wing Commander "Mad" Hugh Effingham, ...
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