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Michael Barwell

The 'ego hole' & the 'Standing man'

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The attack against me is one which deploys an almost (if not-) full spectrum of influencing & hard-/& direct means to the mind, cognition, recognition, autonomic & somatic nervous systems & shitloads else; I’m currently musing on a phenomena that I’m terming ‘the ego hole’ in my ‘ignorance’, a set of delusions of imperious grandiosity, arrogance & hubris that creates a mindset(s) of superiority of the ‘one’ over the ‘other’, the point being that shitehoundery is so completely arrogant that a condition similar to ‘mirror imaging’/mission fulfillment has subsumed their own inadequacy with a total immersion in a sense of superiority to the exclusion of all other factors – THEY ARE, & CANNOT BE OTHER, THAN COMPLETELY RIGHT & CORRECT IN ALL SENSES & CIRCUMSTANCES, not least because they have the means to by all appearances, simply MAKE IT SO. And this is getting back on to their means with which to hard-/&directly influence & dictate, the mind & body of their victims/”lab rats”. But it’s a ‘hole’ into which they tumble like over-reaching white rabbits.

Ages ago, I got the ‘msg’ of finding myself on a ship in the “middle of the Med”, under lock’n’key. My response then (c.<2014 I think), was “& what would be the fucking point in that?”, mindful of their ways of force-feeding their own accusations of my being “the most evil man in the universe”, with all the dirty protest that that encapsulates: if they were going to “interrogate” me, what would they expect to get from it – with the sub-black-on-black ticker tapes having scrolled thru’ my minds eye for however-the-fuck-long, or the other more ‘ordinary’ dream choreographies, or the years of apophenic referencing to all that they’d like me to be for purpose of self-anointment, or a whole range of other associating ‘ideas of referencings & else. –

But, even without having strung the beads together, I was I think already onto their cess games – that for years they’ve been playing the tricks of hard-/& direct autonomic associations: “Operant conditioning applies to many responses. For years, psychologists believed that operant conditioning applied only with voluntary behaviour (responses of skeletal muscles mediated by the somatic nervous system) & not with involuntary responses (responses of glands & viscera mediated by the autonomic nervous system). … Researchers successfully challenged this this belief by ingeniously demonstrating that HEART RATE & OTHER VISCERAL RESPONSES CAN BE OPERANTLY CONDITIONED. …directly controlling heart rate … blood pressure, & the secretion of stomach acids that may produce ulcers, … relax or contract the lower intestines…. This procedure is called biofeedback training.” –

And from elsewhere, “The autonomic nervous system is a control system that acts largely unconsciously and regulates bodily functions such as the heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, pupillary response, urination, and sexual arousal.”

RESPIRATORY RATE. Now, I’ve had all this, thousands & thousands of times – no less virtually constantly, FOR YEARS. But it occurred to me just today, that in c.</mid2012, I had “The man who forgot to breathe”, & indeed I WAS becoming conscious of having a slow respiratory rate – this is what they can & do, do – not only that they can strongly affect the autonomic system, but that they can, otherwise unconsciously, TELL you that this is what they’re doing, as they’re doing it.

So then, I was threatened with being whisked away to a ship in the middle of the Med to answer to their own doings; my response? – “Yeah-yeah – eat shit, why don’t you? – copraphage”. –SUSSED.

This film I posted the other day [click-click L.ear, as they’ve been expecting this & they like to flaunt] – one of my ripostes to shitehoundery is “I stand”, meaning of course, that I’m alive, that I’m annoyed, that I have a deep & profound contempt for shitehoundery & their idiot V-manner scumbags & their schemes, & that I have them taped & sussed. There was a line in this film “Bridge of Spies” about someone/thing, the ‘Standing man’:



“Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance): Standing there like that you reminded me of the man that used to come to our house when I was young. My father used to say: 'Watch this man'. So I did. Every time he came. And never once did he do anything remarkable.
“James Donovan (Tom Hanks): And I remind you of him?
“Rudolf Abel: This one time, I was at the age of your son, our house was overrun by partisan border guards. Dozens of them. My father was beaten, my mother was beaten, and this man, my father's friend, he was beaten. And I watched this man. Every time they hit him, he stood back up again. So they hit him harder. Still, he got back to his feet. I think because of this they stopped the beating. They let him live. 'Стойкий мужик’. I remember them saying. ‘Stoikiy muzhik’. Which sort of means like uh, ‘standing man’ . . . standing man . . .”

I don’t expect shitehoundery to stop (they keep saying they're not going to & I equally keep telling them to fuck off - not 'leave me alone', just "Fuck off")– these sordid, putrid 6ft-droppers couldn't even if they wanted to ("I'd rather die than do this to someone who didn't deserve it" - 'Mr. Stow-it' there, shitting-out his 'professionalism' on a platter), but I’ll take the line.
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