You couldn't make this up.

From Omerta:

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

How FIFA Does Ethics

No action will be taken against FIFA official Dr Michel D'Hooghe after he was cleared of any breaches of the organisation's code of ethics in relation to the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.

The Belgian - chairman of FIFA's medical committee - faced an array of allegations over his conduct in both the build-up and the aftermath to the tournaments being awarded to Russia and Qatar respectively.

But a statement released by the FIFA Ethics Committee's adjudicatory chamber on Tuesday cleared D'Hooghe of any wrongdoing.

The artwork he received from the Russian bid was of no value, the trip paid for by a bidding nation has been re-accounted to make this kickback look legitimate, this particular free trip had no influence on his World Cup voting, the relative of Dr D'Hooghe who was employed by the Qatar bid as soon as the 2022 vote was secured was a total meritocratic fluke as was the son a close friend who had the option to secure a lucrative business deal in Qatar after the conclusion of the vote - another meritocratic fluke. There is no evidence that these appointments had any influence on D'Hooghe voting for Qatar.
None at all.
No-one reacts.

The adjudicatory chamber investigates the investigatory chamber which, in turn, investigates the adjudicatory chamber before they all retire for lunch...

Nothing to see here...
... FIFA stylee!

Porky Tales

The statement read: "First, in relation to the allegation that Dr D'Hooghe received a painting from the Russia Bid Committee, the adjudicatory chamber is satisfied that the painting has no commercial value, as confirmed by two appraisals, and was offered as a friendly gesture by Mr Vyacheslav Koloskov, a friend of Dr D'Hooghe.

"Following the inquiry into the bidding process, the investigatory chamber learned that Dr D'Hooghe appeared to have accepted a trip paid for by a bidding nation. In this context, the adjudicatory chamber is satisfied that, based on investigations conducted by the investigatory chamber, the air travel and other expenses for the trip were in fact covered by FIFA, as it was related to Dr D'Hooghe’s official function as chairman of the FIFA Medical Committee, while the accommodation costs were covered by the bidding nation.

"The adjudicatory chamber is satisfied that Dr D'Hooghe was unaware that this bid committee had covered his accommodation costs for this trip and, in any case, considers that even if he had been aware, there is no indication that this would have influenced his vote.

"In terms of the allegation that a relative of Dr D'Hooghe was offered employment in Qatar shortly after the 2018/2022 FIFA World Cup vote, the adjudicatory chamber is satisfied that this employment relationship was unrelated to the bidding process, that Dr D'Hooghe had no involvement in the discussions leading up to the offer of employment and that there is no concrete evidence indicating that Dr D'Hooghe’s vote was influenced by this relative’s decision to accept employment in Qatar.

"In relation to the allegation that Dr D'Hooghe had attempted to help secure a business opportunity in Qatar for the son of a close friend, the adjudicatory chamber is satisfied that there is insufficient evidence to prove that Dr D'Hooghe was in any way involved in these efforts."