Am I talking balls?

[David Guyatt]

Here are the major findings:

• The Houthis cynically moved the funeral hall and its occupants directly into the path of the falling bombs, which were precision instruments launched against an Iranian death ray
  
• It is imperative that the UK sells even more arms, at incredibly inflated prices, to the Saudis
  
• There is, with any luck, no military solution to the war in Yemen, unlike in Syria, where the complete triumph of the CIA's Islamic Contras would solve everything
  
• Only agents of the Kremlin refuse to take seriously the Saudi report into the Saudi atrocity
  

Dear sir,

Typically ignorant bloody terrorists! It's bloody impossible to drop a bomb in anger these days, without innocents throwing themselves beneath the damn bloody things, just so they can hinder the legal and moral right of Her Majesty's government to graciously issue export licenses for the much needed and sought after products of leading British export companies intent on the scientific transmutation of turning useless sand into glass for the betterment of mankind and the furtherance of glass-makers everywhere.

In frustration,
Hugh Winkletoe, Resident Bar Polisher, The Royal Oak Hotel, Wivenhoe.