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Red Skelton's recipe for the perfect marriage
#1
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.


2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .


3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.


4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.


5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.


7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."


8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right . I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'.


12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".




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Red Skelton's recipe for the perfect marriage - by Myra Bronstein - 28-02-2010, 11:08 PM

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