Police find body in bag at MI6 man's London flat

[Magda Hassan]

Gareth Williams climbed into the sports bag himself.

Of course. As one does.

No foul play.

Yep. No sign of a chicken anywhere. Perfectly normal.

Their conclusion is apparently based on the scientific model, that if one keeps their eyes firmly closed when observing, they'll not be contaminated by the evidence - and rather stupid conclusions can, therefore, be accomodated.

Yep. That will work.

The MI6 spy found dead in a bag three years ago most likely locked himself in the holdall, police are expected to announce on Wednesday.

As long as they don't expect us to believe it.

A fresh Scotland Yard review ....

Because the other one came to an unwelcome conclusion.

The findings will contradict the conclusions of a coroner who last year said he had "probably" died at the hands of another.

Silly woman. How did she possibly think that?

It also raises the prospect of police closing or scaling back the investigation and ending the mystery that has fuelled countless conspiracy theories.

Yes I'm quite sure it will end all those silly conspiracy theories.

But it is understood that has now concluded that it was possible for Mr Williams, who the inquest heard had an interest in escapology, to get into the bag by himself and that was the most likely scenario.

And if he had an interest in ikebana he would have had a bunch of flowers shoved up his bottom too.

A senior Whitehall source said: "It seems as though the coroner made a mistake in ruling out evidence that Williams could not have climbed into the holdall without outside help.
"If it can be demonstrated that Williams was able to climb into the holdall unassisted, then all the other fanciful conspiracy theories start to fall apart."

Whitehall? Well, I see who wanted the new inquiry with the right conclusion now.

Even suspending reality and any mental faculties for a few seconds and accepting their scenario it is strange that a grown man with a very high IQ would do such a risky maneuver without some one present to step in if things went wrong. As it did. As one wouldn't do willingly or knowingly. But this is accepted without question?

But days after the inquest, a retired Army sergeant showed how it was possible to climb into a similar North Face bag and lock it from the inside.

They didn't seem to have that course that trained one to be an expert about climbing into bags and zipping them up from the inside when I was in the military.

Detectives were able to repeat the experiment with some slight differences ....

Yeah, like totally different differences.