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UK terror threat raised to 'severe', Home Secretary announces
#11
...Our own hardworking Office of Perpetual Panic (likely based out of a studio in the NSA) is informing us that Osama has spoken out on the Underpants Bomber with a newly released tape! Here's the NYT take on it that officially deems it as absolute truth:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/25/world/25binladen.html


But I personally like this one instead...
Bin Laden Claims Responsibility for Balloon Boy Hoax

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - One day after claiming responsibility for the Christmas Day underpants bomber, Osama bin Laden appeared in a new terror tape today in which he claimed responsibility for the Balloon Boy hoax that held the nation spellbound last year.
"The so-called Balloon Boy claimed that he 'did it for the show,'" a stern-faced bin Laden says on the tape, which surfaced Sunday morning. "In point of fact, he did it for jihad!"
In the somewhat rambling tape, Mr. bin Laden spends 45 minutes claiming responsibility for other things, including the massive Tylenol recall, John Edwards' illegitimate baby, and the Detroit Lions' NFL season.
According to a CIA analyst familiar with the tape, a new characterization of Osama bin Laden may be beginning to emerge: "He's like a movie executive: no matter how little he was involved, he claims credit.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borow...34962.html
"If you're looking for something that isn't there, you're wasting your time and the taxpayers' money."

-Michael Neuman, U.S. Government bureaucrat, on why NIST didn't address explosives in its report on the WTC collapses
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