US/NATO War on Russia

[David Guyatt]

Shock as US and Europe impose raft of major sanctions against Russians and Ukrainian :

By an unnamed Shocked! staff reporter.

The exclusive Shocked! list of the unnamed 7 Russians targeted by the ever so tough US sanction:

Vladimir Tusk - head chauffeur for President Ladyparts
Gernardy Pinktoes - a humble vodka drinker related to Tusk
Sergey Aristotle Sergey - A Duma library worker
Leonid Slut - President Ladyparts part time Judo partner
Dmity Pulloff - Masseur to the duma
Yelena Sendoff - A regular Flyer
Andrea Krisp-ears - One armed kitchen porter to President Ladyparts
Arseny Kickoff - soccer referee for the Federation Council
Boris Blinki - junior financial services janitor

Edmundovich Milibandov was left off the list despite fierce lobbying by The Foetus (W. Vague), not to mention a supporting affidavit from Oleg Implausibilevsky, the former Russian spook, who claims to have witnessed Milibandov's manufacture in the test tube at a notorious Chekist fertility clinic.

Foggy Bottom plumped instead for that notorious red agent, Larry Adler.

I've added up the seven I listed above together with the further five you have now noted - plus the 3 Magda named - and together that makes 27. And we haven't even mentioned other members of President Ladyparts entourage, like Igor Quiffoff, his personal barber, or Valentin Seudeoff, his personal shoe polisher famed for his expertise for buffing with an old WWII linen towel. We now have 72 and the list is growing.

We simply can't trust the media to tell us the truth can we. What the west seems to have done is sanction the whole population of Russia and the Ukraine, and then lie to us that there were only 31 targeted.

Btw, is Larry still blowing hard on Prince Phillip's favourite organ - or has he passed on to even more nether regions? That man has a wonderfully accented mouth you know. His real name, I'm told, was Lev Mishka Adleroff Zelakovich and he was a Colonel in the wind section of the KGB's Red Orchestra.