22-02-2013, 06:01 PM
(This post was last modified: 22-02-2013, 10:29 PM by Charles Drago.)
Fresh off the successes of his fictional accounts of the assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Bill O'Reilly is poised to deliver unto us his next cartoon ... wait for it ...
Killing Jesus.
SPOILER ALERT: I learned from an impeachable source (not Bill Clinton) that O'Reilly's new book of revelations will include:
Development of the LN -- Lone Nailer -- Theory.
Proof that the "magic spearpoint" of Longinus caused all the wounds to Christ's side, wrists, feet, and forehead.
Proof that the Shroud of Turin has not been altered and represents the best legitimate evidence of how Christ was killed.
O'Reilly will demolish Professor James Fetzer's claim that Longinus could not have been the killer of Christ because he is depicted in at least one contemporary painting of the Crucifixion watching the event from the doorway of a nearby scroll depository.
Finally, O'Reilly will make a powerful argument that the long-accepted lettering on the Titulus Crucis -- INRI, standing for IESVS NAZARENVS REX IVDAEORVM, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews" -- is in fact a paid advertisement from the Rhode Island Tourism Council. He will present evidence to suggest that the original inscription read Judaei sunt plus Judaica in Insula Rhodensi ("Jews are Jewier in Rhode Island"), and later was abbreviated by Jewish painters and scribes endeavoring to save money by not wasting paint and ink.
http://www.salon.com/2013/02/21/bill_ore...us_christ/
Killing Jesus.
SPOILER ALERT: I learned from an impeachable source (not Bill Clinton) that O'Reilly's new book of revelations will include:
Development of the LN -- Lone Nailer -- Theory.
Proof that the "magic spearpoint" of Longinus caused all the wounds to Christ's side, wrists, feet, and forehead.
Proof that the Shroud of Turin has not been altered and represents the best legitimate evidence of how Christ was killed.
O'Reilly will demolish Professor James Fetzer's claim that Longinus could not have been the killer of Christ because he is depicted in at least one contemporary painting of the Crucifixion watching the event from the doorway of a nearby scroll depository.
Finally, O'Reilly will make a powerful argument that the long-accepted lettering on the Titulus Crucis -- INRI, standing for IESVS NAZARENVS REX IVDAEORVM, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews" -- is in fact a paid advertisement from the Rhode Island Tourism Council. He will present evidence to suggest that the original inscription read Judaei sunt plus Judaica in Insula Rhodensi ("Jews are Jewier in Rhode Island"), and later was abbreviated by Jewish painters and scribes endeavoring to save money by not wasting paint and ink.
http://www.salon.com/2013/02/21/bill_ore...us_christ/
