Larf, I nearly cried -- flummery and the Philosopher's Stone

[David Guyatt]

Alchemy, like most things has more than its fair share of misunderstanding and simple outright flummery.

Here comes a side-clenching Moose joke:

http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/r...tone.shtml

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is not just about magic; it is magic, for this single book is mysteriously comprised of two separate texts: there is the printed text that is experienced when the book is read, and there is the secret, more sinister text that is experienced when it is not read. This strange divergence has caused a lot of controversy, but we here at Book-A-Minute maintain the spirit of neutrality and uphold the freedom of personal choice. Rather than forcing our readership to subscribe to one text or the other, we have chosen to condense both versions of the text, thereby permitting concerned parents the choice of which version -- if either -- to read to their children.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

(aka: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

(printed version)
By J. K. Rowling

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Harry Potter
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.
Hagrid
Harry, here are some secrets I'm not supposed to tell you.
Harry Potter
(saves the world)
THE END

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

(aka: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

(secret version)
By J. K. Rowling

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Harry Potter
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.
J. K. Rowling
Now that I have your attention, my pretties, here is how you perform satanic rituals and become demons.

THE END