01-08-2012, 07:36 PM
NASHVILLE INT'L AIRPORT A Wyoming man walked through a TSA checkpoint with a raging erection on Thursday, daring TSA officers and even fellow passengers to give him an invasive pat down.
"I'm next," Warren Kelvin, 34, screamed as he pushed to the front of the security line. According to TSA officials, Kelvin had ingested two Viagra and wore sweatpants without boxers for his Southwest flight from Nashville to Phoenix.
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Even though TSA officials allowed Kelvin to initially pass through security without the controversial pat down, the passenger on more than one occasion got back in line until he felt that he had been thoroughly inspected. Kelvin finally got the invasive pat down by 38-year-old officer Duncan Allbright after 80 minutes and four trips through security.
"Even after we let him pass through he kept walking out of the terminal and getting back in line," said Watershed. "Finally, Duncan had to bite the bullet for everyone and do a thorough screening of him in a private [security] room."
Allbright, a 14-year veteran of airport security, announced his retirement shortly after Kelvin boarded the plane. "I'm going home to take a shower and make love to my wife," said Allbright as he got into his car. "This job isn't for me. I've suddenly lost my passion for touching strangers."
U.S Homeland Security director Janet Napolitano dismissed concerns that more TSA officers would quit or that more travelers would take similar measures to get their "jollies". "I am hoping this is an isolated incident. If flights were a lot cheaper, I could see more people doing this," said Napolitano, "but with the cost of airplane fuel rising, I don't think $560 roundtrip is a bargain price to get fondled."
Calls to TSA headquarters went unanswered, as everyone there is just exhausted.
By Garrett Baldwin
http://thewashingtonfancy.com/2011/09/18...-down/1500
"I'm next," Warren Kelvin, 34, screamed as he pushed to the front of the security line. According to TSA officials, Kelvin had ingested two Viagra and wore sweatpants without boxers for his Southwest flight from Nashville to Phoenix.
,,,,,,,,
Even though TSA officials allowed Kelvin to initially pass through security without the controversial pat down, the passenger on more than one occasion got back in line until he felt that he had been thoroughly inspected. Kelvin finally got the invasive pat down by 38-year-old officer Duncan Allbright after 80 minutes and four trips through security.
"Even after we let him pass through he kept walking out of the terminal and getting back in line," said Watershed. "Finally, Duncan had to bite the bullet for everyone and do a thorough screening of him in a private [security] room."
Allbright, a 14-year veteran of airport security, announced his retirement shortly after Kelvin boarded the plane. "I'm going home to take a shower and make love to my wife," said Allbright as he got into his car. "This job isn't for me. I've suddenly lost my passion for touching strangers."
U.S Homeland Security director Janet Napolitano dismissed concerns that more TSA officers would quit or that more travelers would take similar measures to get their "jollies". "I am hoping this is an isolated incident. If flights were a lot cheaper, I could see more people doing this," said Napolitano, "but with the cost of airplane fuel rising, I don't think $560 roundtrip is a bargain price to get fondled."
Calls to TSA headquarters went unanswered, as everyone there is just exhausted.
By Garrett Baldwin
http://thewashingtonfancy.com/2011/09/18...-down/1500
"Let me issue and control a nation's money and I care not who writes the laws. - Mayer Rothschild
"Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience! People are obedient in the face of poverty, starvation, stupidity, war, and cruelty. Our problem is that grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem!" - Howard Zinn
"If there is no struggle there is no progress. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and never will" - Frederick Douglass
"Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience! People are obedient in the face of poverty, starvation, stupidity, war, and cruelty. Our problem is that grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem!" - Howard Zinn
"If there is no struggle there is no progress. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and never will" - Frederick Douglass