Vatican Inc.

[John Bevilaqua]

Brand Pope here we come.

GlobalInfallibilitydotcom has today been granted global merchandising rights for the Pope and the Vatican, and will seek to maximize revenues to ensure that the Catholic Church can cover predicted massive legal costs incurred after decades of protecting paedophile priests, supporting ethnic cleansing fascist war criminals and keeping the poor in poverty.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

:evil:

"Dominic, go frisk'em!" said the Pontiff, and so he did. And the coffers were filled, with coins and scrip, none of which would ever go to St. Nick. I will be one of the first to buy one of those really neat Knights of Malta outfits with the plumed hats with the feathers, the sharpened sabers in a scabbard with the Pontiff's seal on the handle and the sashes filled with all sorts of medals, and the epaulets on the shoulders.

"Jimmy! Come over hear for a minute!", said the new parish priest to the altar boy while hearing confessions for the first time: "What does Father O'Rourke usually give out for sodomy?"

"Why 2 Hostess Twinkies and a cold glass of milk!", he replied in a snap.