10-01-2011, 12:02 AM
David Guyatt Wrote:Announcing the exciting new hands-free Mastubatory!
Made entirely from the bark of the Australian non-chaffing tree, this exciting new gadget oozes with features and often comes in a walnut trim carrying case.
Known in the trade as a Murdoch. Or in the UK, as a Coulson.
David Guyatt Wrote:* An elongated "girth" model is available by special order.
rechargeable battery or mains powered in three speeds - kneading, fast and very, very, very fast.
Available in traditional garnet and plain ol' creamed colour.
For a small extra fee, the Mastubatory comes with its own rubber catsuit, hood and in-built periwinkle.
Gamp's been on the blower, and wants three, hang the expense. He's pulled a few strokes with the resident Oldham Romanist, and wants to distribute a bit of largesse in return for the planned turn-out of Tesco's Polska night-shift early on Tuesday morning. I'm told I should recognise them by the array of Lidl bags. Can't wait. I hate by-elections more than I can adequately convey.
David Guyatt Wrote:Available from sole agents
Joys-R-Us
A proud member of the Global Goble Digger Droup of companies
A semi-Naughtie.
Tooth
"There are three sorts of conspiracy: by the people who complain, by the people who write, by the people who take action. There is nothing to fear from the first group, the two others are more dangerous; but the police have to be part of all three,"
Joseph Fouche
Joseph Fouche