17-02-2009, 01:39 AM
A butcher wanted to bet me that I couldn't guess the number of tenderloins he had available on the top shelf of his freezer.
I told him the steaks were too high.
___
She was only the contortionist's daughter, but I knew her knot.
___
Here are some original ideas for jazz and American popular songs as interpreted in Africa (a tad "inside" unless you're a jazz lover, but what the heck!). My favorites in bold:
Line for Lions
No Mercy, No Mercy (the Cannibal Adderley version)
Tarzan Stripes Forever
Pigmy the Simple Life
Your Cheetah Heart
Oh You Crazy Baboon
Zulu's Back in Town
Kenya Keep a Secret?
Kilimanjaro with His Song
Leopard Leaps In
The Chimp
Nilestones
I'm Hippo
Summer Simba
My Mother Dakar
A Vine Romance
Tie a Yellow Gibbon
So Near, Safari
Rhesus Christ, Superstar
Tusk One of Those Things
Tutu Close for Comfort
You Go to My Headhunter
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Remember the story of the young Jewish woman who defied her parents by joining the Peace Corps and running off to Africa?
After a year she writes home to say that she's seen the errors of her ways and has taken steps to conform to her parents' wishes. She has wed the kind of man they always dreamed she'd wed, and they're coming home.
The mother and father are at the airport to greet their wayward daughter and new son-in-law. She emerges from the plane hand-in-hand with a man wearing native garb, a huge headdress and a finger bone necklace, and shaking rattles while chanting hypnotically.
"What on earth have you done?" screams the father.
"I did what you always told me to do," the daughter replies.
And the mortified father says, "No no no ... We told you to marry a rich doctor!"
I told him the steaks were too high.
___
She was only the contortionist's daughter, but I knew her knot.
___
Here are some original ideas for jazz and American popular songs as interpreted in Africa (a tad "inside" unless you're a jazz lover, but what the heck!). My favorites in bold:
Line for Lions
No Mercy, No Mercy (the Cannibal Adderley version)
Tarzan Stripes Forever
Pigmy the Simple Life
Your Cheetah Heart
Oh You Crazy Baboon
Zulu's Back in Town
Kenya Keep a Secret?
Kilimanjaro with His Song
Leopard Leaps In
The Chimp
Nilestones
I'm Hippo
Summer Simba
My Mother Dakar
A Vine Romance
Tie a Yellow Gibbon
So Near, Safari
Rhesus Christ, Superstar
Tusk One of Those Things
Tutu Close for Comfort
You Go to My Headhunter
___
Remember the story of the young Jewish woman who defied her parents by joining the Peace Corps and running off to Africa?
After a year she writes home to say that she's seen the errors of her ways and has taken steps to conform to her parents' wishes. She has wed the kind of man they always dreamed she'd wed, and they're coming home.
The mother and father are at the airport to greet their wayward daughter and new son-in-law. She emerges from the plane hand-in-hand with a man wearing native garb, a huge headdress and a finger bone necklace, and shaking rattles while chanting hypnotically.
"What on earth have you done?" screams the father.
"I did what you always told me to do," the daughter replies.
And the mortified father says, "No no no ... We told you to marry a rich doctor!"
Charles Drago
Co-Founder, Deep Politics Forum
If an individual, through either his own volition or events over which he had no control, found himself taking up residence in a country undefined by flags or physical borders, he could be assured of one immediate and abiding consequence: He was on his own, and solitude and loneliness would probably be his companions unto the grave.
-- James Lee Burke, Rain Gods
You can't blame the innocent, they are always guiltless. All you can do is control them or eliminate them. Innocence is a kind of insanity.
-- Graham Greene
Co-Founder, Deep Politics Forum
If an individual, through either his own volition or events over which he had no control, found himself taking up residence in a country undefined by flags or physical borders, he could be assured of one immediate and abiding consequence: He was on his own, and solitude and loneliness would probably be his companions unto the grave.
-- James Lee Burke, Rain Gods
You can't blame the innocent, they are always guiltless. All you can do is control them or eliminate them. Innocence is a kind of insanity.
-- Graham Greene