A Deep Political Case For a Romney Presidency

[Lauren Johnson]

Lauren, you are quite correct. Deep political analysis -- as opposed to poll results, fundraising numbers, debate performances, etc. -- provides the only meaningful metrics available to handicap an American presidential election.

It's all theater of the absurd -- and the obscene.

My best analysis: Obama is given the razor-thin victory so as to put to rest the suspicions that a close presidential election in which the son of the Republican candidate owns an electronic voting machine firm will be stolen for the GOP.

Thus is preserved and protected the fraud option for future use in an election in which one of the candidates represents true change.

Looks like you were right. No vote rigging here -- unless the rigging was to arrange Obama's opponent so that we could see there was no rigging. More later.

But why the theater of the obscene in the first place. I propose it is to conjure a man, one who sees what he is meant to see -- the enemy and respond appropriately. Meet this man. His name is Eric Dondero.

Republicans around the country are responding to President Obama's reelection in a variety of ways among them: anger, depression, finger-pointing. But nobody had the same reaction as Eric Dondero, a former Ron Paul aide who blogs at LibertarianRepublican.net. In a post yesterday, Dondero, reasoning that the only recourse to Obama's victory is "outright revolt," laid out the terms of the "personal boycott" against Democrats which he plans to maintain for the rest of his life and that he hopes his followers will as well. What does the boycott entail? Cutting all ties with Democratic family members, friends, and lovers; refusing to work for a Democratic boss; spitting on the ground when a Democrat talks to you; and possibly shitting on your Democratic neighbor's lawn, among other things:

All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Democrats are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.
I strongly urge all other libertarians to do the same. Are you married to someone who voted for Obama, have a girlfriend who voted 'O'. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who are Democrats.

Do you work for someone who voted for Obama? Quit your job. Co-workers who voted for Obama. Simply don't talk to them in the workplace, unless your boss instructs you too for work-related only purposes. Have clients who voted Democrat? Call them up this morning and tell them to take their business elsewhere.
Have a neighbor who votes for Obama? You could take a crap on their lawn. Then again, probably not a good idea since it would be technically illegal to do this. But you could have your dog take care of business. Not your fault if he just happens to choose that particular spot.

It sounds like a great idea in theory, sure, but in practice? We wondered if sticking to the boycott all the time was truly feasible. So we e-mailed Dondero to see if he'd explain how he'd handle certain hypothetical situations. At first, he told us to "fuck off. And shove your silly little communist rag up your ass." This seemed fair after all, talking to the writer of a communist rag is probably a violation of the boycott. A short time later, however, Dondero wrote again, telling us that, on the advice of his co-editor, he would grudgingly answer our questions. His answers are reprinted below, verbatim, as promised.

Let's say you lose your dog, and a neighbor, who is a Democrat, finds it and brings it back to you. Do you thank him or spit on the ground in front of him?
Tell him to give me my dog, and to get off of my property. And the next time he sees my dog to just let her be. As he's walking away I might yell out "Obama sucks" a couple times.

You find out that the quarterback for your favorite football team, which you have been rooting for since childhood, is a Democrat. Do you start rooting for a different team?
I don't listen to music by Democrats any more. I try to do some research on the political leanings of those I listen too. Oingo Boingo called themselves "libertarians" in the early 1980s. I listen to them. Neal Peart of Rush called himself an Ayn Randist couple times. I love Rush. I like pro-British patriot Frank Turner out of the UK. The Guardian did a big interview with him over the summer, and he said he was a "libertarian." And of course, there's always Ted Nugent, and KISS, both hardline right-libertarians. Marshall Tucker Band, Kid Rock. Did you know lead guitarist for Stealy [sic] Dan is also a rightist. The Lt. Dan Band. Madison Rising is great. Metallica and Motorhead have expressed right leanings in interviews.

Honestly, doesn't always work. I miss sometimes. But if Springsteen or some other leftist America-hater comes on my Sirius/XM channel and I can get to the dial fast enough, I will switch it.

Elton John is a toughie. You know he leans left. But he made friends with Rush Limbaugh of all people last year. So, I give him a pass. Oh, and the Beatles had that classic "tax man." John Lennon's personal aide in his last few weeks of life, was interviewed last year, and said that he turned into a Reaganite in the last few months before he was killed. Isn't that ironic?

I'm not a sports fan. So, all I can do is answer this question from a musical tastes perspective. Hope that helps.

Here's something else you can sink your teeth into. Related. I honestly do this, and have been doing this for years. You know that silly fist bump thing? When my co-workers or friends try that with me I extend my full hand for a traditional handshake. I tell them sorry, but I don't do that "Obama thing." Most of them chuckle, but some have gotten offended, look at me strangely. But they know where I stand right off the bat. And it helps me to weed out the good guys, freedom lovers, from the bad guy Democrat fascists.


A Democratic family member leaves a message on your answering machine. He says that he just discovered who your real father is, and asks you to call him back. Do you?
Interesting. I know my real bio-dad. I was adopted in NYC as a matter of fact. So, this has some direct relevance. He's an independent Perot type.

To your question, yes, if he's a Democrat family member I just would simply refuse to call him back regardless.

A Democratic family member is dying of cancer. He wants you to come visit him in the hospital, which is within walking distance, before he passes. Do you go?
No. Read my original piece. I'm done with any and all Democrats in my life for good. And trust me on this. I've just had a pretty intense experience with someone close to me today, someone I've known since childhood. It's hard for me not to respond to this person. Very, very hard. But so far, I've held. If there is one person out there who I would break down my rule for it is this person. Lifelong friend. East Coast in fact. It's been 24 hours and I'm still holding strong. this person read the original piece I wrote. The email response from this individual sits in my in-box. I almost responded twice today. Even started writing the reply. But I pulled back. I am truly hoping that this person sends me an email with the following message in the Subject line: I have left the Democrat Party and will never vote Democrat again.

You require a risky and complicated brain surgery, one that is performed by only two neurosurgeons in the country. One is a Republican and the other is a Democrat, but the Republican is generally unknown, and the Democrat was just heralded by Time Magazine as the nation's best neurosurgeon. Everything else the cost, location, etc. is the same. Which doctor do you choose?
Simple: Avoid them both. Go to Mexico for your medical treatment. Avoid all the red tape and bureaucracy.

You come upon a neighbor whom you know to be a Democrat drowning in a lake. You're the only person in the vicinity. Do you help him?
Whew! Now that one is really, really tough. I honestly do not have an answer for that one. You could always be a smartass about it I suppose. Scream: "Hey Joe, you sure you're a Democrat? Just say the word, 'Obama sucks,' simple as that. Just mouth the words 'Obama sucks' and I'm in the water."

A close Democratic family member is hanging off the side of a cliff. A Republican who is also an admitted child molester is also nearby hanging off the side of the same cliff. They both have but seconds until they plummet to their deaths, and you only have time to save one. Whom do you save?
Man, you're good.

I guess I ask the Democrat again to yell out "Obama sucks," and Ill be there in a jiffy to lend him a hand (pun intended.) The Republican child molester? I tell him to join that asshole Sandusky, Ed Savitz and that former Philly DA Ed Rendell who covered up for Savitz and a whole shitload of other Democrat child molesters in southeast Pennsylvania all those years, in hell.