26-02-2015, 03:00 PM
The New Conservative Party: Seeking Excellence in the Public Trough
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Our MENU of political services (required and sought) from our resident Chef du Cabinet ( Georges Bullindon)
A: Business services
1) changing business law: starting at £50,000
2) influence peddling: MP's £2,500 per half day
Honourables £2,750 per half day
Rt. Honourables £3,000 per half day
Less Honourables £3,500 per half day
Sec's of State £4,000 per half day
Cabinet Ministers £10,000 per half day
Prime Pimpster £20,000 per half day
3) House questions £1000 per question
4) Contrived Hansard entries £1000 per entry
5) Wars & confrontations negotiable from £500 million
B: Honours
1) OBE: £250,000
2) MBE £750,000
3) Junior Knighthood ("Sir") £ 5 million
4) Senior Knighthood ("Lord") £10 million
5) Military gongs NCOs & below from Whole leg
6) ditto Junior officers from Half leg
7) ditto Staff officers minimum Bruises / grazes
8) ditto General staff Nose colds
9) ditto Chiefs Crafty smile
C: Miscellaneous requirments
1) Penis smoothing £150.00
2) "Bottoms Up" £200.00
3) Wrenching, squeezing and choking £300.00
4) Masonic hand gestures £300.00
5) Privy Parts Counselling £350.00
6) Any of the above with fetish hoods, add £50.00
(please note we would like to pay more but can't afford to)
D: Justice
1) Under Construction
E: Oversight
1) Overlooked
F: Integrity Issues
1) Er,
The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.
Carl Jung - Aion (1951). CW 9, Part II: P.14